Ha ha

Hellow, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obssesive-complusive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have mulitple personalities, pres 3,4, and 5.I
f you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are maniac-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696996969696.
If have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key, until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state you name, address, telephone number, date of birth, and social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have a short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have a short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have a short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have a low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are a blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up."

i just saw this on a defferent blog and thought it was funny!